Nan

Happened in the Store Just now

Just about every week I have some kid come in and tell me endlessly about how cool he or she is. How many rock stars they know, how drunk they were last night, how no one is a punk as they.
This was new though.
Some kid just came in to brag about how incredibly punk he can pretend to be! Not even kidding.
He was trying to pick out some pins and wanted gutter punk bands (which we are admittedly low on). He then went on to tell me a REALLY long story about how he just made a movie in LA and he played a gutter punk. Well, apparently it went well and he is hoping for a spin off series buy ALAS! His costume was not his own and now he needs some gutter punk clothes for publicity shots. Turns out Free Radicals doesn’t carry COSTUMES and he was a bit overwhelmed by experience of having to pick his own attire (No I didn’t help him). He settled for some buttons and went on his gutter way…
Sigh

Spams are bad

I know that SPAM (the email, not the potted meat) is bad, bad, bad. Its sometimes full of virusey things that want to eat my computer. And sometimes its just stupid poor scamming. But I want to share with you my favorite SPAM ever. Seriously. This guy is fucking lunatic. Enjoy:

Dear Sir,

I have a full length tragedy movie script title: RANKLE: Jones The Golfer. It is a new idea, full of suspense and thrill. I need a production company and financial investment into this movie production as it will make a block buster.

Jones enjoy golf playing, hoping to be a professional golfer like Tiger Woods. Professional golfers play in golf field, ours play at home. No fucking son of a bitch will accept correction. The pride of what is yet to be is a destroyer.

It is traumatic to live with nutty breed of human, all in the name of family-hood. The traumatic experience of Ray over being alienated in the family of five (5) and his emotional disgust over his parents good moral negligence.

His erratic brother Jones gave him a blood bath, living his life-less body after which he was in oblivious state. Ray is cast away and also an object of mimic.

Hilda gave Ray a taste of love life which has been missing for years. I love you mum because you hate me. Cassandra my sister is no different from my mum Vera.

Jones finally golfed out daddy;s ‘’Kenny’’ breath, as he was left to his pool of blood. Jones life turn sour of no savvy as he committed suicide. Those that bury mines indiscriminately will one day fall victim to mine explosion.

There are golf scenes, fist fighting, snake scenes, club scenes, sex scenes, drug scenes, Police shoot out, gangstar, hovercraft, Apache helicopters and Belgian attack dogs.

The script is over 120 pages.

Thanks for finding time to read through. Only get back to me if you are ready for us to proceed with this viable movie production.
Best Regards.
PRODUCER

Why HAVEN’T we made this movie yet? Its genius!
nan

Georgia, it’s not just redneck over here

This morning CNN aired a press conference with Condi Rice and the president of Georgia. Now I understand that tanks smashing your towns must make for a fairly stressful week, but this guy was hilarious!
He just kept shouting over and over again “I told you this would happen! I told you all!” This tirade went on for easily half an hour. The press would ask questions like “What sort of message are you hoping the US will send to Russia?” and “How many of your citizens have been displaced?” and he would answer “I had to return from my vacation because of this” and “You wouldn’t believe me!” The guy had the gravitas of a used car salesman.
Condi
I was thinking how funny it would have been to see our hillbilly president hold a press conference with their car salesman president. But it was only funny for a moment. I suppose a tiny war-torn nation being lead by a car salesman is WAY better than a super power being led by the village idiot.

Sometimes Chaos is worth a giggle

So I have been following the financial news with rapt attention lately. And so have we all. Times are really fuckin hard right now. Enter IndyMac.

Watching CNN footage this morning of the wealthy people camping out around their banks gave me a good old giggle. Not the people with less than $100,000.00 in the bank, their money is fine. Insured by FDIC. But to see the people who can afford to have MORE than $100,000.00 in an account lining up around the building praying the money will be there.

Look, I understand that financial crisis will in fact trickle down even to me who, incidentally, has like $87.00 in the bank. But every day when I drive to work I pass a clothing and food bank where there are people lined up everyday trying to make ends meet. Lined up hoping to get a good job today. Lined up.

At least if we are all going down its been nice to see the shoe on the other (richer) foot.
nan

Why Taos sucks

Yesterday I was driving along and saw a car with a bumper sticker which read “London Paris Tokyo Taos”. Not kidding.
If you don’t live here, let me explain the joke.
Taos is a lovely little mountain town that has been smashed by wealthy gallery owners and celebrities. On the same street you will find grossly expensive art and native folks who are starving. No matter how much you enjoy art and the whole rustic southwestern thing, you cannot compare Taos to Tokyo. Taos has a population of like 25.
The culprit here is a type of lady we like to call “The Squa-casian”.
Squa-casian
The super white ladies dripping with gigantic turquoise jewelry. They invented the idea of western chic. Ya know, $300 bejeweled overalls, designer cowboy boots (pretty, not functional) driving their Mercedes SUV out to their “original” adobe ranch houses.
Its one thing to appreciate a culture’s style and history. But if you are the historical oppressor of that culture, don’t steal their crap and reinvent it and 10 times the price. Its cultural rape. And it makes you look like an ass-hat to the rest of us.

Fuck the Telecoms

Seriously.
Anywho, senator Chris Dodd (high on the Obama list for VP) is still working to strip the FISA bill of imunity for the telecom CEOs. Here is what his website has to say about it:

For the last nine months, when retroactive immunity has surfaced, we have been able to delay its passage.

We were able to stop it in December because I had an army behind me.

Two months later, it stalled again — this time in the House.

And last week, we managed to delay action one last time.

But when the Senate returns from the July 4th recess, we will vote on FISA legislation that includes retroactive immunity for telecom companies that may have illegally helped the Bush administration spy without warrant.

It’s a bad bill and we need action to stop retroactive immunity from becoming law.

I’ve introduced an amendment with Senator Feingold to strip immunity from the bill.

This amendment has the support of Majority Leader Reid and Senator Obama, but it needs 51 votes to pass.

Will you sign on as a citizen co-sponsor of our amendment?

Sign on here to help

Nan

Healthcare isn’t Fucked up…its just too hard.

So I’m watching CNN this morning. They have this new segment called “Issue #1″ all about the shitty economy and the upcoming election.
Now I know that we are in that time period 6 months before an election where even the real issues begin to be tweaked into bizzare fake concerns, but here is one that really tied my panties.
While discussing the current concerns with healthcare, the host Gerri Willis asked her panelist “Why does Generation X care about healthcare?” My ears perked up because I swing between having no healthcare and having shitty healthcare. Her panelist explained that 1) GenX is busy spending money on our clothes and cars and 2) the process is confusing enough that we’d rather leave it to our employers.
Thats when my brain fell out of my asshole. Now had they been discussing 17 year olds working at Dunkin Donuts, I could by this. But GenX? Thats me!
I wrote CNN to remind them that GenXers are now in our 30’s! I have been struggling with finding available healthcare for a decade now. Apparently its not that the choices suck, or that for profit healthcare is a crooked system. Its just that I’m too dumb and obsessed with my clothes to handle it.
Good to know.
nan

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