- “Do people shop here?” (nope. we are just for show)
- “Do a lot of people shop here?” (well, its no GAP…but we are still open so that implies some business)
- “Why haven’t I heard of this place?” (um, we’ve all been keeping it a secret from you!)
So yesterday a middle aged man walked into the store and asked the address. This is the conversation that followed:
“We are at 300 Yale.” (me)
“300… where is 301?” (him)
“um, I dunno. But since this is 300 it must be across the street.”
“across the street?”
“yeah, cause this side is evens. So 301 must be across the street”
“See, I had a package sent to me, but the guy put the wrong address. He sent it to 301.”
“Well you should ask across the street.”
“You’re sure that this is 300?”
“Yeah, pretty sure. Wanna see a business card?”
“Well I guess I will trust you” *storms out*
I love my customers. Sometimes, however, there are communication challenges. Here is a series of questions from a walk-in today:
“Is this a dress?” *while holding up a dress*
“What is this?” *While holding up a skirt?*
“Why don’t they have fishnet here like they have in Boston?” (I’ve spent some time in Boston. From what I have seen, fishnet is fishnet.)
“Do you guys buy these clothes from somewhere?” (As opposed to…?)
“What does stuff cost?” (shall I read every price tag in the place to you?)
“I need to get a new boyfriend so someone will buy me stuff”
Update on the Jesus Hobo. He has found some way to affect a holiday spirit! Around Christmas he began wearing a Santa Suit around (with cross still in tow) and now that the holidays have passed he is dressed as a giant Leprechaun. Kinda awesome. Very creepy.
There is a crazy looking hobo walking up the street and in his shopping cart there is a giant wooden cross. This thing is erasily 8 feet tall! So, I wonder if the hobo has a little woodshop somewhere and crafted this cross? Or did he steal it from one of the local outdoor nativities? What does a hobo need with a giant cross? Hmmmmmm. I think jesus might be mad about this one.
Some 70 year old holier than thou hippie just started an argument with me because we don’t carry anarchy stuff. I explained that buying corporate made in china items with an anarchy symbol on them kinda defeats the idea and he should grab a sharpie and make his own. He didn’t get it and called me a facist before stamping out in a huff.
Today a friend I have not kept in touch with died.
He leaves behind a teenage daughter.
I have never kept up with my loved ones as often as I should.
Please forgive me and know that I care.
Which one of you low-lifes put my name on a wine of the month sales call list?
Here is the text from an ad that runs every week in our Free newspaper:
“NEED DENTAL WORK?
Excellent results at up to 2/3 the savings
Montana Dental Clinic
Free Transportation there and back.”
Are you fucking kidding me??
Let me tell you what that ad really says:
“NEED DENTAL WORK?
Get on a bus with money and a passport in your pocket and cross the border. We will put you in a dental chair, knock you out, and take your money and you identity.